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A Utah Jazz Fan’s NBA Draft Lottery Roller Coaster

Ryan Aston|

Jun 26, 2014; Brooklyn, NY, USA; Dante Exum (Australia) shakes hands with NBA commissioner Adam Silver after being selected as the number five overall pick to the Utah Jazz in the 2014 NBA Draft at the Barclays Center. Mandatory Credit: Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports

So the NBA Draft Lottery took place Tuesday night, giving fans of the league’s non-playoff teams a few, brief moments to hope for some luck in rebuilding their franchises. Most of these hopeful fans had their dreams dashed in short order but, invariably, somebody did win the lottery.

As a lifelong Utah Jazz supporter, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t doing all I could to ensure that our boys blue, green and gold were the recipients of fortunate tidings. These esoteric rituals included (but were not limited to) rubbing my miniature Buddha sculpture and listening to Madonna’s 1983 classic “Lucky Star” as ESPN’s broadcast approached–

So, with the good mojo seemingly flowing and all of my lucky charms in a row, here is the timeline of what unfolded at the NBA Draft Lottery as a result of my efforts–

5:50 PM MST: I’m ceaselessly jealous of our own Clint Peterson’s flowing, flaxen locks.

6:02 PM MST: I bemoan to anyone that will listen the fact that the Jazz were leapfrogged in the top five in last June’s lottery, as well as in 2005. Sure, we ended up with Deron Williams, but only after swinging a trade with the Portland Trail Blazers. The law of averages has to be on our side this time, right? RIGHT?

6:10 PM MST: As has become my tradition on this night, I take to my favorite draft lottery simulator looking for luck. After several tries, I am unable to secure a top three pick for the Jazz. I decide that the site (that shan’t be named here) is out to get me and close the browser.

6:15 PM MST: In a moment of clarity, the following tweet rings true–

6:18 PM MST: Back to praying to the Norse Gods for good favor and rubbing shamrocks on myself. The anticipation is killing me. I decide to log a few minutes on the old PS4 with Final Fantasy XIV to kill the time. I wonder which is worse—hording good luck charms so my team can win the draft lottery or spending several hours a week with this game.

6:20 PM MST: I decide that both of these things are awesome. Draft lottery in 10 minutes and counting!

6:30 PM MST: The time has come. I wonder what Jazz GM Dennis Lindsey will do if the Jazz actually land the No. 1 pick. Karl-Anthony Towns and Jahlil Okafor seem redundant given the presence of Derrick Favors and Rudy Gobert on the Jazz roster.

6:35 PM MST: Emmanuel Mudiay is being interviewed on ESPN. The guy gives me the same soft and fuzzies I once felt for Dennis Schroder and Dante Exum.

6:39 PM MST: Russell Westbrook‘s shirt. As a supporter of pastels, fringed vests and the like, I can dig it. Dennis Lindsey is introduced on the telecast with little fanfare.

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6:40 PM MST: I still love Alonzo Mourning. Does anyone think that that D-Faves can become a Zo-like player?

6:41 PM MST: Where’s Pat Williams? C’mon now, Orlando Magic. You had one job to do. On the plus side, maybe this increases our chances? Also, who knew that the New York Knicks had a general manager.

6:44 PM MST: I decide to give another draft lottery simulator a go in hopes of better results. I head over to my old standby, RealGM. I run the simulation 19 times and somehow the Lakers hop into the top three nine times, including four No. 1 overall picks. I search my room for druidic curses and/or arcane runes.

6:45 PM MST: I realize this is all for show and that the actual lottery has already taken place, but I rub my replica Ring of Power nonetheless. Odds bend to the will of the Precious.

6:40-something MST: The Jazz hold “strong” at No. 12, as one might have expected. I knew it all along. It’s OK though—we’re above this lottery nonsense. Playoffs here we come!

6:48 PM MST: Lakers?! NO! Why? I flipped my light switch on and off 43 consecutive times, didn’t bathe and wore my shoes on the wrong feet as the voice in my head commanded…how could this happen?!

6:52 PM MST: The Lake Show lands at No. 2; some guys get all the breaks.

6:53 PM MST: The Minnesota Timberwolves receive restitution for years of David Kahn mismanagement and win the NBA Draft Lottery for the first time. Good for them.

6:55 PM MST: Oh well, it’s still good to be a Jazz fan. Also, this still exists–

Sans the Lakers’ fortune (which is simply too annoying to discuss) things played out more or less as expected. C’est la vie, I suppose.

Now that the Jazz are officially locked into the No. 12 pick, check back to Purple & Blues in the coming weeks and we’ll give you the lowdown on all the top prospects in the late lottery range.

Next: Utah Jazz 2014-15 Player Review: The Trady Bunch

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