The J-Notes
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Should the Utah Jazz change their name?

By Jonah Kubicek

Jeff Hornacek (L), John Stockton (C) and Karl Malone (R) of the Utah Jazz watch the final seconds of game three of their Western Conference semi-final against the Portland Trail Blazers 22 May 1999 at the Rose Garden in Portland OR. The Trail Blazers beat the Jazz 97-87 to take a 2-1 lead in the best-of-seven series. (ELECTRONIC IMAGE) AFP PHOTO/Robert SULLIVAN (Photo by ROBERT SULLIVAN / AFP) (Photo credit should read ROBERT SULLIVAN/AFP via Getty Images)
Jeff Hornacek (L), John Stockton (C) and Karl Malone (R) of the Utah Jazz watch the final seconds of game three of their Western Conference semi-final against the Portland Trail Blazers 22 May 1999 at the Rose Garden in Portland OR. The Trail Blazers beat the Jazz 97-87 to take a 2-1 lead in the best-of-seven series. (ELECTRONIC IMAGE) AFP PHOTO/Robert SULLIVAN (Photo by ROBERT SULLIVAN / AFP) (Photo credit should read ROBERT SULLIVAN/AFP via Getty Images) /
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Utah Jazz guard Donovan Mitchell (Rob Gray-USA TODAY Sports) /

The Funny Ones that are Still Family Friendly

The Utah Salt Lakers

Obviously a play on the Los Angeles Lakers, who could also consider a rename, if they didn’t have 17 championships attached to the name. Los Angles doesn’t really have lakes, although Salt Lake City famously has one. I’m sure this would cause a lot of confusion, but it’s one of my favorites.

Tagg Romney Presents: The Utah Basketball Shooters, Dribblers, and Bucket Makers

Straight out of a Harlem Globetrotters spoof, the Tagg Romney Presents would certainly be hard to fit on a jersey. While the name is ridiculous, it would be a solid tribute to one of Utah’s most famous families. If you agree with them or not, including their name in the team would certainly be more fitting than the “Jazz.”

I love a descriptive name, and the team formerly known as the Jazz would probably be shooters, dribblers, and bucket makers. After all, that’s what most of a basketball game consists of.

The Utah Razorbacks

It sounds cool, doesn’t it? Until you understand what exactly the participant of the survey meant when he said “razorbacks.” A razorback is usually seen as a wild hog, which is brutish, dangerous, and cool. This is not what was meant. A razorback is also a type of sucker–a three-foot-long, ugly, bottom-feeding fish. Yes, it is critically endangered, and renaming the franchise after the fish could help save it, but do you really want to name a team after a bottom feeder?

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