Karl Malone’s Melees

Yesterday’s epic post-game fight between BYU and Memphis got me to thinking: Have the Utah Jazz been involved in any memorable brawls? Jazz fans should be proud that their team doesn’t appear on any fight countdown lists. However, Karl Malone was the centerpiece of quite a few individual skirmishes that cost him just about as many missed games in his career as injury would.

Malone’s elbows are nearly as famous as he is, leaving a lasting impression on several noggins. You probably recall the infamous incident that put two score stitches in Isiah Thomas — an unwelcome confrontation Thomas is still bitter and chattering about to this day — but the tale really sets precedent way back when Karl was still at Louisiana Tech.

"From the Washington Post, December 6, 1984:Rice junior center Dave Ramer will undergo reconstructive surgery Friday in Houston to repair multiple injuries suffered in what Coach Tommy Suitts says was an intentional elbowing incident in Monday’s game against Louisiana Tech. Ramer has a depressed cheekbone, fractures above and below his right eye socket and a collapsed sinus after the incident involving Louisiana Tech’s Karl Malone.Malone had gone up for a rebound and came down swinging his elbows. Ramer was unfortunate enough to be in the same area code. The blow shattered Ramer’s cheekbone, and he went down screaming in pain. Malone just looked at him and walked away."

The game was different in those days. It was not uncommon for retaliation to break out en masse at times, as in the instance of Malone head hunting Thomas. At the time in the NBA it was a mere $500 fine for leaving the bench during a melee. Now it’s automatic suspension.

"Utah’s Issac Austin, David Benoit, Mike Brown, Tyrone Corbin, Eric Murdock and Delaney Rudd also were fined $500 for leaving the bench.NBA vice president of operations Rod Thorn called the incident “the worst foul he’s seen” since the league instituted a new flagrant foul rule two seasons ago. Thorn said it was the first time the league had suspended a player for a non-fighting, game-related incident.But Thomas didn’t believe the penalty was severe enough. He sat dejectedly by his locker nearly 90 minutes before tip-off last night. Sunglasses and a hat tipped low over his forehead concealed the damage.“It’s the type of situation that makes you say, ‘[Forget] it, is it really worth playing?’ ” said Thomas, who returned from the hospital and played late in Saturday’s game. “I could have died on that play. The doctor tells me my forehead is going to be numb for two months.”When asked if Malone had attempted to apologize, Thomas responded that Malone “was too chicken to apologize.”Malone declined to apologize for what he called “good, solid basketball.”–The Baltimore Sun"

Rod Thorn is now NBA President of Basketball Operations, since July 2013.

Karl Malone’s elbows have also:

• Knocked out David Robinson. Cold. Like, face down on the floor

• Left Michael Jordan clutching his head like a sledgehammer had come down on him

• Put some funds toward a new toy for a plastic surgeon

"Joe Klein wasn’t much of shot blocker, but he sure could lay that 7 foot, 270 pound body on you. On April 27, 1999, he tried to lay that big body on the wrong guy, and Joe learned a very important lesson: just let Karl Malone have the layup. After the Mailman made a special delivery to his frontal lobe, Joe’s nose was so battered, he needed plastic surgery after the game. “Joe’s getting plastic surgery right now,” his coach Danny Ainge said afterward. “It’s all right. He needed a little plastic surgery.”–Basketbawful"

• And left Steve Nash gushing from his piehole

• Let Steve Francis live (with the bonus Jeff Van Gundy ankle biting reference)

And stood toe to toe with Shaquille O’Neal.

But the most entertaining fight Karl Malone may have been in, for me at least, wasn’t on the court but in the “squared circle.”

Talk about a Bash at the Beach.